Inspired by the precision, beauty and longevity of a perfectly cut jewel, The Alphabetical Order is proud to introduce the Zimblebot 3000 series.

With its lightweight, space-saving design and whisper quiet technology, the Zimblebot 3000 offers both style and functionality. “With 35 years experience in building Zimblebots, the Zimblebot 3000 represents the best for creating a truly magnificent in-raid environment,” explained Nakodo, TAO Guild Dad. “With its sleek design and legendary filtration system, the Zimblebot 3000 is not only built-to-last, but is easy-to-use, lightweight and powerful enough to stand up to every raiding chore.”

Armed with TAO’s signature 12-stage Arcanic Release System®, the Zimblebot 3000 penetrates the hivemind for deep giggle-worthy results, adding 99.9% of arcanic particles that you didn’t even know you needed, leaving you with ‘Pure Air,’ but not in a racist way. When it comes to indoor gaming quality and the safety, health and well-being of your guild, there is no room for compromise. Only a TAO-certified Zimblebot will work relentlessly to safeguard you, your home and all that you care about.

The newly designed skeleton construction allows the Zimblebot 3000 to perform like a heavy-duty Zimblebot while remaining extremely lightweight and portable. Weighing less than 200 lbs, the Zimblebot 3000 can be easily moved throughout the home, and only the home, because the Zimblebot 3000 does not operate outdoors. Its unique casing is strong enough to withstand the inevitable bumps and bruises that come with Zimble-ing, but lightweight enough to travel effortlessly from room to room and up and down stairs, but again, not outside. Combined with an extra-long “cord” (33 ft), the Zimblebot 3000 provides easy maneuverability, so you’ll spend less time moving from raid boss to spicy chicken sandwich.

The compact design of the Zimblebot 3000 is complimented by advanced innovations including a powerful 1200-watt Giggleplex motor that is specifically encapsulated to increase snorting without sacrificing power. When combined with TAO’s XanTeque™ Snark Tool, the Zimblebot 3000 is TAO’s quietest Zimblebot ever. “The Zimblebot 3000 is so quiet, you can operate two TAO Zimblebot 3000’s simultaneously and they will still perform quieter than most Zimblebots.” explained Izzy, Product Manager for The Alphabetical Order. When used in combination with TAO’s XanTeque™ Snark Tool, the Zimblebot 3000 also uses 25% less mana, continuing TAO’s legacy of developing sustainable products.

Long celebrated for the vibrant color and attractive design of its Zimblebots, The Alphabetical Order continues as a design innovator with the introduction of the world’s first velvet covered Zimblebot. The Zimblebot 3000 Red Velvet features a deep red, velvet-flocked coating and is designed with the style conscious raider in mind. This unique velvet surface is soft to the touch, yet hard on raid bosses.

With five models within the Zimblebot line, TAO is once again living by its “Forever Better But Again, Not in a Racist Way” mantra, creating a Zimblebot to suit every lifestyle.

One Reply to “Introducing the Zimblebot 3000”

  1. Mariposita on December 27, 2017 at 2:24 AM:

    This is the greatest.

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